Gen Z is anxious and lonely. What if God already knows your people and purpose?

I’ve shared before that I’m in sexual addiction recovery (and that it has nothing to do with the fact that I’m gay or celibate). I’m grateful the Lord has helped me make real progress toward sobriety. But over the years, there have been slip-ups. Here’s what helps me rebound after a slip-up.

Earlier this spring, the other guys in NFOB and I started discerning an invitation from the Lord to pivot to a different kind of intentional Christian community. NFOB was limited to people living in the same house, only for men called to lifetime celibacy, and pushed guys toward lifetime commitments.

I get this push-back (and similar) often. They argue that it would be cruel for God to call every Christian to abstinence outside of Christian marriage, regardless of how lonely they are or how unavailable faithful suitors are or what their sexual orientation is.

If you’re a gay person trying to make sense of spirituality and sexuality, I hope this helps. When I hang out with friends who don’t believe in God, or who have been deeply hurt by the Church, our conversations eventually land on the big question: why do I even believe God exists?

If you’ve been told Jesus should be enough for single Christians, read this. Ryan Holland recently asked me about this on the Holy Heartbreak Podcast where we talked about the call to singleness and the ache of loneliness. Here’s what I shared:

That line from Eve Tushnet has stuck with me for years.

I’ll give you a hint: nothing… Scripture doesn’t talk about high school crushes or casual situationships. It doesn’t speak to whether it was wise for 1st century Christian teens to go for a swim in the Jordan River together, kiss goodbye at the end of the hangout, and giggle to their respective families afterward.

I recently taught at a Christian university about vocational singleness and Christ’s calling in Matthew 19 for every Christian young adult to consider lifetime abstinence for the sake of the kingdom.

I recently went on the @felixoutstheworld Podcast with Felix Chen to talk about loneliness, spiritual kinship, and what churches owe their single members. I shared
something that gave us both pause.

I recently preached the chapel message on back-to-back days at Asbury Theological Seminary. Check out this recording and transcript from the second day exploring the power of spiritual friendship to create belonging and enrich both single and married lives.

I recently preached the chapel message on back-to-back days at Asbury Theological Seminary. Check out this recording and transcript from the first day discovering how biblical discernment frees us to embrace love—whether in marriage or singleness—with gratitude and joy.

I recently went on the Celibacy is SEXY! Show with Taja Hereford to explore the challenges of involuntary singleness and how single Christians can embrace their circumstances to enjoy belonging and purpose.

In a recent sermon at Calvary the Hill Church in Seattle I shared about the difference between temporary and vocational singleness, and why we should consider vocational singleness instead of living in limbo. Temporary singleness is the default state everyone is born into, whereas vocational singleness is a lifetime vocation of singleness for the sake of doing kingdom work with undivided attention.

Checkout this chapel offered at Asbury Theological Seminary exploring God's true, good, and beautiful for gay people. Many Christians are theologically convinced of historic sexual ethics, but what we believe to be true doesn’t seem to be leading to good and beautiful in the lives of the LGBT+ people we know. As Christians, we have an inherent sense that what’s true should also be good and beautiful. So how do we make that a reality for the LGBT+ people we love?

Watch my lifetime commitments to NFOB and vocational singleness, check out some early reflections, and read articles along my journey to lifetime commitments.

In anticipation of my lifetime commitments to vocational singleness and to the Nashville Family of Brothers, I wrote this letter…

What did God make us for as sexual beings? What best paths did God give us to enjoy sexuality to the fullest? How can we resist sexual temptation, generally?

Why discern God’s calling to vocational singleness or Christian marriage? How can we discern between vocational singleness and Christian marriage? How can pastors and parents help Christians discern well?

Jesus intended vocational singles to live "for the sake of the kingdom" by reinvesting the time and energy they would have used to raise kids to instead do even more non-child-raising kingdom work. 50% more. Let me explain.